This is a very common problem that I come across at least once a week being a divorce attorney as most of the divorce cases begin from cheating partners and unfaithful spouses. However, now that it’s been done and your partner has cheated, the next next step is what do I do now? There will be hundreds of questions in your mind troubling you as no matter how liberal you might be, to
You will no doubt be very angry, frustrated and even feeling murderous but believe me this is not the end of the world – yes, I know it’s something very big and very emotionally disturbing but if you think over it, you might realize that in some of the cases, it’s actually you who pushed your partner to go and have an affair – whether it happened when you were too busy to be with them or did not spend quality time with them, you somehow played a part and now it’s time to rectify all that.
While I do not mean to justify why or with whom your partner cheated, my aim is to help you deal with this crisis and resolve this issue in the most rational manner ensuring your mental well being.
What Do I Do Now?
Here are some important points for you to go over and think about when you don’t know what to do:
Accept the Reality but Do Not Get Rash
You will have to accept in a clear frame of mind that your partner had an affair. However, it doesn’t mean that you lose all senses and abuse them verbally or physically. It will not change anything. You will feel lots and lots of anger and frustration at them and yourself that why did it happen to you but you will have to accept that it has happened. Remember, that getting rash will only get you in further trouble and deteriorate relationship if there is any chance of saving it.
Avoid Hasty Decisions
Getting cheated in a relationship is heart wrenching but it doesn’t mean that you make hasty decisions and end everything. See if your partner is guilty of cheating you, if they have cheated you before as well or if they are remorseful. If your partner is guilty, admitted his or her mistake and wants to stay with you, I think you should give your relationship a chance.
On the other hand, if your partner has cheated you a second or third time and is guilty, it means that it’s becoming a habit that they cheat and seek forgiveness. Just think rationally and see which decision you should make. However, think very carefully before, if you choose to forgive them, make sure he or she makes a solemn promise to remain faithful to you in future.
Seek Professional Advice
If you feel that you are unable to reach a decision regarding your life and are being pulled in two different directions, its better that you seek professional advice. A counselor will help to analyze your feelings and assist in deciding if you really want to forgive your partner and live with them or leave them for good. A counselor will also help to rationalize your decision so that you do not have any guilt feelings later on.
Given an Ultimatum to Your Partner
The best thing to do in this regard if know that your partner did not cheat you intentionally and want to save your relationship, issue an ultimatum. You can either give them an ultimatum either to end the relationship with you or remain sincere to you or you will end it if this happens again. The fear of losing you and becoming an object of scorn, as cheater are treated, your partner will make the decision wisely.
It is not easy to keep a cool mind and think and behave sanely if you know that you have been made a fool and cheated by your partner. It is important to control your emotions and keep them in check even though you would love nothing more than to take your frustrations out on your cheating partner as it will not solve anything.
However, what’s done is done and you cannot change it, all you can do is to think wisely and take steps that ensure peace of mind, whether it means ending the relationship or forgiving them. Whatever decision you take, make sure it’s not done in haste and you do not have any regrets later on! Just make sure you do everything logically and plan well so that you keep out of trouble as only then you will be able to put this incident behind you and live a happy life later on!