Finding the right marriage counselor prior to separation

If you are having problems in your marriage that cannot be solved by you or your partner, it’s time that you consult a third party, that is a professional helper or a marriage counselor. Marriage counselors (also sometimes called marriage therapists) are experts who are trained to help people suffering from marital problems that they are unable to solve on their own.

In most of the cases, most of the couples who go for marriage counseling are those who have reached the verge of divorce and are considering their decision for the last time before they decide either to take a divorce or to reconcile.

In most of the cases, men and women are not so experienced to handle their marriage problems and need to contact a good marriage counselor to seek advice and relief from the immense pressure of a deteriorating relationship. However, how would you know that a marriage therapist is good enough to solve your problems and capable enough to give you the right advice.

You and your spouse will have to find the best and the right marriage counselor who is competent enough to handle both of you, listen to the problems and find a common ground solution. Read on this article to know more about how to find the right marriage counselor who can help to make a good decision regarding your future.

How to Find the Right Marriage Counselor

  • Identify your marital issues: When seeking the right counselor to discuss your marital problems, first determine if you understand your needs and what issues you want to discuss with marriage counselor. When you realize your problems and what you want to talk about, you will be better equipped to find an advisor that is a good match.
  • Identify preferred counselor marital status: For some, this is unimportant, but decide if you want a single, married or a separated marriage counselor — or if this is unimportant. Many people prefer going to marriage therapists who are themselves separated as they feel they are better suited to understanding life after divorce. Others prefer counselors who are married so they can discuss the daily problems of married life.  Then, there are others still who do not mind — after-all, every marriage and divorce is different anyway!
  • Do you want a counselor who has been to therapy? Check out and see if your marriage counselor has themselves had any counseling or therapy. Some people believe this makes them more understanding of your marital issues and they will be able to relate to them more easily.
  • Understand the therapists process: Talk to the marriage therapist before actually starting the sessions. Ask them about the length of sessions and their procedures. This will also help you decide if this is the right counselor for you in terms of expectations and deliverables.
  • Ask about their background: What type of people have they worked with in the past? What are their accreditation? How did they get into counselling? What are their qualifications? Some points will be more important to folks than others. Do an online background check on Google. Don’t be alarmed if you don’t find much — many excellent counselors focus entirely on their therapy and may not have a fantastic online presence.
  • Understand how much it is going to cost you: Ask your counselor about the services you will be provided and their fees. Marriage counseling is by no means cheap and if you are paying the counselor by the hour it can become expensive. Many therapists will offer a package which is often more affordable than individual sessions. The added benefit of a package or course means that you are more committed to the sessions you have booked, and it often takes a number of them to really help a marriage.

More than anything, it is important that you and your spouse are comfortable with your marriage counselor. Not everyone is a good match — even if the therapist has ticked all your boxes, you may feel things aren’t so comfortable when you meet them. That’s okay. Step back and have a re-think.

Whilst in most cases in-person, face-to-face sessions are the best forms of therapy and counseling, don’t be afraid to explore other digital and even telephone options. For some people, these work very well and can be more affordable and less time consuming than face-to-face in an office.


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